Stories from the YMCA Locker Room

"Jimmy" - Westside Y, NYC
While dressing, and still partially nude, man comes by the row of lockers where I am. I recognize man and have been giving a courteous nod hello, mostly because when I first saw him walking around I thought he was veteran character actor Ray Wise. I'm dressing quickly as he gets on the scale.
"Well, i've lost 5 pounds"
me - "well congrats, pal. i've gained 5"
"oh, but you don't need to lose any weight. you. look. great."
he then chats me up about where i'm from & where i live. i somehow did not mention that i work(ed) at Sesame Street, which would've had Single White Female potential if i would've. given my habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, it's a miracle i didn't. anyway, he then says:
"here. let me give you my card. give me a call, i'll take you out to dinnah"
2 days pass, i walk into room with machines at the Y. he's on the first one, facing out towards the door. i walk to the farthest, most hidden machine in the room, and one that is facing a wall, and i have my iPod on & headphones in & volume UP. i'm using said machine when i feel a tap-tap-tap on my shoulder. i say:
"hey jimmy, what's up?
him - "oh, i was just thinking about you today...i went to the post office today, i went there because, because i had to get some stamps. i went there because i, i wanted to get some Love stamps, but then i thought of you, because i saw that they have Oklahoma stamps."
"great. i'll tell my friends back home"
him - "hey, when are we gonna get that dinner?"